Young Adults and Dating Violence

Abusive relationships have good times and bad times. Part of what makes dating violence so confusing and painful is that there is love mixed with the abuse. This can make it hard to tell if you are really being abused.

Dating Violence

Here are some good questions to ask yourself.

Does your partner:

• Act like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, with sudden and extreme mood swings that make them seem like two different people?

• Make fun of you, put you down, or embarrass you in front of others?

• Have a history of bad relationships or past violence, always blame their problems on others or blaming you for "making" them treat you badly?

• Try to get you drunk or high, or try to get you alone when you don't want to be?

• Try to control you by being bossy, not taking your opinions seriously, and/or making all the decisions about who you see, what you wear, what you do, etc.?

• Talk negatively about people in sexual ways or talk about sex like it's a game or a contest?

Do you:

• Feel less confident about yourself when you're with them?

• Get told by people you trust that they’re worried about your safety?

• Feel scared or worried about doing or saying the wrong thing?

• Find yourself changing your behavior out of fear or to avoid a fight?

If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions, you may be in a relationship that is abusive or may become abusive.

What should I do?

There are several ways that you can reach out for help. Read the options below to find the one you're most comfortable with:

• Reach out to an adult you trust. You might choose a parent, grandparent, another adult in your family, or an adult at your school or place of worship. School counselors, teachers, coaches, and even school administrators are there to help you stay safe and figure out your options.

• Talk to someone local about your relationship by calling Empower Tehama's Crisis Hotline at (530) 528-0226. Someone is available at this number 24/7/365.

• Reach out through text, chat or phone call to www.loveisrespect.org, a national organization dedicated to helping teens address dating violence and recognize and develop healthy relationships.

Underage Sexting

Sexting is sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually explicit messages, photographs or images, primarily between mobile phones. While sexting may seem fun and exciting, it can cause some real problems, especially if you (or the subject of the photo you're sharing) is under the age of 18. For an excellent resource on sexting, click here.